Bai tiao'in

Bai-tiao: it means to take a trip. This concept of ‘taking a trip’ in Thailand is so different from anything Americans do, it’s going to be hard for me to explain, but I’ll try.  First, Thai’s use it in a variety of situations including literally going on a trip/vacation or taking a trip to the supermarket in the main district (about 20 km away).  No matter what, you spend more time in the car than you do in the final destination.  Many volunteers have gone on bai-tiao’s with their school and/or governmental office in which an enormous double decker bus, fully decked out with disco lights and a rockin karaoke system is rented.  I have only done this once – the round-trip was 10 hours and we were at the destination for approximately 2 hours.  I considered myself lucky as many volunteers have sat on the bus for a round trip of 24 hours to stay at the destination for just 2 hours.   Oh, and Thai’s don’t sleep while on these bus trips  – so that rockin’ karaoke system is rockin’ for the entire time you are on that bus – 4am or 4pm, time means nothing….I mean this literally.  

A regular old bai-tiao usually consists of packing in too many people in a truck of some kind, and no karaoke (thank God!).  Whatever the estimated arrival time is (if there even is one), add a minimum of 3 hours to that – this time reference should be used for doing anything and everything in Thailand.  Us PCVs call this “Thai Time”.

My very good friend Pii Dtang invited me to bai-tiao to take her daughter, Gung (who I love) to her first year of college in a near-by province and the itinerary is to go like this: leave at 8am, arrive 12pm, stay for 3 hours (eat, settle in, etc) leave at 3pm and arrive home by 7pm.  I immediately tacked on the minimum 3 hours and figured I’d arrive home by 10pm – either way I was excited.   I now bring you the story of the bai-tiao to the University.

1                .       

      1.  Pii Dtang and Gung pick me up (at 8:30) and proceed to tell me that we are going with Gung’s boyfriend (his name is Ek), who is going to the same university, and his family.  My enthusiasm level drops a notch or two, as I knew this meant that we’d be packing 2 families into 1 car, along with their freshman college belongings.  Also, as lovely as his mom is (I’ll be referring to her as Mom throughout this story), the woman LOVES to talk and is just exhausting. 

      2.       We arrive at Ek's house and Gung realizes she forgot her registration paperwork – now she must go back home.  When she returns 30 minutes later we begin packing the truck with all of their stuff, including a motorcycle (for the guy), 1 year worth of rice for 2 people, too many pillows and blankets, some food and 2 ridiculously small suitcases of clothes, etc.  I’m told I’ll be sitting in the back seat of the pick-up truck along with Pii Dtang and Mom, when all I really wanted was to sit in the pick-up part with the kids.  Dad is in front and the hired driver is driving.  We are ready to leave at 10:30 and I’m already exhausted.  Apparently so is the driver because he drinks his first of 23 energy drinks throughout the day.

Gung and her boyfriend, Ek

      3.       We are squished in the back, literally my legs are so cramped the pain begins about 5 minutes into the trip.  Pii Dtang and I look at each other and she announces she’s tired and going to nap (I think she finds mom as exhausting as I do).  I announce the same.

      4.       As I’m “napping” Mom is continuously asking me questions and I continue to “nap” and avoid having to answer.  I think Mom is just someone who doesn’t like quiet, so she’s always making noise to fill in the gaps.

      5.       The first of approximately 24 stops at 7-11 is about 1 hour into the trip.  I’m surprised it’s taken this long.  I’m starving and break out my raw carrot sticks and sweet peas for all of us to snack on.  Proceed to have a conversation about how strange, yet good, my eating habits are.

Gung in the back of the truck, passing time :)

      6.       Second stop is to eat lunch.  We pass a trazillion markets, but nothing is good enough for Mom as she claims they are all dirty, so we stop at 7-11 for them to eat 7-11 food which is full of crap. But, Pii Dtang is the bomb and brought lunch so we ate sticky rice and fried eggs in the back of the truck.

      7.       30 minutes later, Mom has stomach pains from having to pee so badly.  Mom had about 2 sips of water the whole trip, yet had to pee every 30 minutes.

      8.       5.5 hours later, we arrive at our final destination at 3pm, which if you refer back to the original itinerary, is the time we were supposed to be leaving.   Either way, I’m super excited for Gung and taking pictures of the campus, the kids and reminiscing about my college days.

     9.       We move Ek in first and realize that none of his roommates have arrived (4 people to a room) and this is cause for much distressed conversation.  They were all concerned because he ‘has no friends yet’.  When I found out, I said he was lucky because he got first dibs on beds.  Another moment that made me realize how American I am.

     ** I have to note that in colleges in Thailand, boys and girls live in separate buildings.  At most American colleges, boys and girls live on the same floor of the same building, but are separated by sides of the floor.  As usual, I was asking a million questions (I wouldn’t be surprised if Thai people find me exhausting as I am always asking umpteen questions) and learned that girls are not even allowed to enter the boy’s dorm building and vise versa.  They must wait outside.

The female and male dorms are all the same
but on different sides of the campus 

All the rooms are the same

The move-in help....only at the female dorms

      

     



     10.   We hang out in Gung’s dorm room for 2 hours, say good-bye to the kids (originally I was the only one who hugged Gung, as in Thai culture there is no hugging, only wai’ing. But then Mom gave them awkward hugs and forced Pii Dtang to hug them as well) and leave to eat dinner at 6pm.  I must note that when leaving Gung’s dorm room, we discovered that somebody had taken my shoes instead of theirs.  So I was shoeless until we hit a market J

Gung, me (shoeless), Ek's sister, Ek's Mom and Dad

11.   We are on the road at 7pm (please note this was the time we were to be home).   Now the back of the pick-up is empty and Pii Dtang wants to sit back there with Mom’s daughter –so do I but Mom can’t sit in the car by herself even though she has dad and driver to hang out with.  Either way, I’m made to sit in the cramped car with her.  I immediately “fall asleep”, she continues to ask me questions and talk to me while “I’m sleeping”.  I’m also freezing, as Thai’s blast the A/C in the car and never lower it.  I don’t know if it’s because this is the only place they have A/C and so they relish in it, but regardless, I am freezing every time I’m in a       
                                                                                       car/bus/van that has A/C.

      12.   We stop at 7-11 another 14 times for the bathroom and regular snacking.  The driver drinks an energy drink at each of these stops.  He also smokes a cigarette and then sprays himself with what smells like old-school car air freshener.  He sprayed so much each time, I thought I’d lose a year of my life from loss of lung capacity due to the fumes.

      13.   I enter my home at 12 midnight on the dot, 5 hours later than anticipated…..not too bad.   

      14.   It was a really cute day at the college.  Gung was excited but said she also felt ‘strange’…..I remember those days in college.  I also remember those regular moments here in Thailand, so I can relate to her!

Friends in Thailand

One of my greatest fears about going into the Peace Corps was not making good friends. Typically, I don't need much in life, but people and relationships is something I find I can't live without.  I knew there'd be tons of barriers, language just being one of the many, and I was uncertain if I'd overcome them.  Now, having lived here for 1 year, I’d say the friends I’ve made is one of my greatest Peace Corps accomplishments.

Pii Dtang cooking for a ceremony at her Wat 

Pii Dtang in a nutshell, is the bomb.  I first met Pii Dtang when I walked into a meeting, looked around and this lady and I caught each other’s eye.  She gave me a little smile, hit the seat next to her and gave me this head nod that said, ‘Sit your hiney right here next to me’.  So, I did.  Most people giggle when I sit with them, or ask me what I ate for lunch, if I’m hot (as I have sweat dripping off of my face)…stuff like that.  But not Pii Dtang – she went right in for the kill: who am I, what am I doing here, why did I join PC, etc?  She gave me one of the warmest and most sincere smiles I’ve seen in Thailand as well as a piece of candy…..I was sold.  She is 47, a mother of 3, cares for her 81 y/o mother (just fyi: 81 in Thailand is ancient, they just don’t make it that long here….her mom is a hoot too and strong as hell!) and older mentally handicapped and diabetic sister (they live with her).  She’s been married for 19 years and although she lights up when she talks about her hubby, they have never lived together as he has either lived outside of Thailand or in Bangkok (currently) for work.  She is the assistant village headman (but does all the work of the village headman), village accountant, leader of the women’s group, raises cows/ducks/turkeys, has every kind of food you could imagine growing outside her house and grows rice every year for her family.  You name it, Pii Dtang can do it.  As busy as she is, she always makes time for me.  Her family invites me everywhere, and she does special things just to ensure I experience Thai culture.  She cooks me special vegetarian Thai food, taught me how to raise cows, taught me what Thailand was like 30 years ago when she was a teen (no running water, no electricity) and has told me her smart philosophy on raising kids in Thailand.  We take naps after we eat lunch and end up chatting like teenagers instead.  If I need advice or I’m having a rough day, I go visit Pii Dtang because she just gets me and she’s so rational.  She’s got a heart of gold and has become like my older Thai sister.  I always leave her presence feeling lighter.  I was doing breast cancer checks at the health station one day and someone said to me: ‘You have to talk to Pii Dtang because she hasn’t gotten checked yet’.  I was in deep thought as I was feeling for lumps and I said ‘Pii Dtang who?’ and her response was ‘Your Pii Dtang’.  I thought it was cute and realized that yes, she is my Pii Dtang.  My Pii Dtang, the bomb.

Pii Dtang and I at Loy Kratong Festival

Pii Dtang's children at a ceremony her daughter was dancing in.  We are  dropping her daughter off at her 1st year of college this week!

Pii Jaloo and Pii Wan

These two fabulous, strong, lively and energetic women are sisters and both in their 50’s.  Pii Jaloo is very involved in her village as a village council member and the leader of the community investment bank (everybody in the village contributes money on a monthly basis to pay for funerals and such in their village - everything is a community effort here).  Her husband died from cancer about 2 years ago.  Pii Wan has been battling cancer for 3 years – first she had breast cancer but had those bad boys removed, then some chemo/radiation/the whole bit, for it to come back to her lungs last year.  She has completed chemo for the second time and has been working on getting strong again and has just found out that she still has cancer and must continue her treatments….it’s been a trying time.  I should also tell you that she has to travel 4-5 hours away, in another province, to receive the chemo and visit the doctor.  Her cheating husband left her about 2 years ago in the middle of her health crisis and she was probably better off for it.  Despite all of this, they are both always ready for a good time and they love to laugh.  I visit them a couple times/month and I’m greeted with genuinely warm hugs (note: hugs are uncommon here), kisses and gentle butt taps (which remind me of my grandma and so I happily welcome them!).  When I’m there, we usually do one the following: play dress-Erica-up, take photos, sing karaoke, dance, serve Erica cold water and fruit because she’s always so hot, make flower bouquets out of banana leaves, talk about farting, laugh, dance, sing some more.  I adore them and feel so comfortable with them.  Also, they are looking for some foreign boyfriends – I told them I’d ask around ;)

Pii Jaloo and I singing karaoke at their house 

Pii Wan (left) and Pii Jaloo (right)

Pii Dtou and Grandpa

My mom with my neighbors :)

Mom and Dad with Grandpa and the fishing
device he makes out of bamboo

Because of Pii Dtou and her dad/my grandpa (and also because of my other fabulous neighbors and great noodle shop across the street) I am thankful I moved to the house I live in.  Pii Dtou is a 47 y/o single woman who lives with her 73 year old dad who is phenomenal.  All of my visitors from America have met him and just love him: he goes to his field/garden every day and sits there and makes ‘stuff’ out of nothing.  The man can do anything and I’ve seen him go to great and impressive lengths to pick me fruit off of a very high tree…..anybody who does that to give me food is good in my book!  He also reminds me of my own grandfather and I warmed to him instantly.  The best thing about Pii Dtou is that we can hang out and talk for hours.  She’s patient with me and always finds a way to teach me something, mainly language.  I’ve shared some personal things about my life with Pii Dtou and I trust her with all of it.  She is a tailor and can pretty much do anything with her hands (I guess like her dad, she can make ‘stuff’ out of nothing).  She is 1 of the women who now crochets pocketbooks out of plastic bags – but hers are the most beautiful!  She has also begun to recycle and now we sell our recyclables together, comparing our plastics and metals!  She’s been a huge supporter of my recycling escapades.  She understands the importance of taking care of our environment and feels strongly about educating our village as much as I do.  She has recently helped me communicate this to the head monk at our village Wat.  He has agreed to let us begin a collection point at the Wat.  Pii Dtou has been essential in helping me create the information board and grandpa is making the recycling bins our of bamboo and banana leaves – gotta love it!  Basically, Pii Dtou and Grandpa are simply great people and has made my time here extra special.

Pii  Dtou and her first recycled pocketbook

Grandpa picking linchee - the rickety ladder made of bamboo

Cartoon - Because most people in their 20's and 30's go to bigger cities for work, that age group is hard to find in the village - the main reason why my friends are all 13 and younger or 45+.....except for Cartoon.  She is my Thai host sister and I lived with her the first month at my site.  She speaks English very well, has 2 adorable kids (they are all over my facebook albums!) and really took care of me when I first came here.  I don't know how I would have survived without her.  She took me everywhere, showed me the ins and outs of my village and community, introduced me to everyone and Thai life and cooked me some amazing vegetarian Thai food.  She is like a sister to me and I don't know if she'll ever know how much her time and dedication means to me, especially during my first month at site.  The transition to my site the first month was a very difficult time for me; I was so uncertain, vulnerable, scared, frustrated, lonely and in desperate need of a friend.  Cartoon was always there.  When I struggled with my Thai Supervisor, Cartoon let me vent and understood, but wasn't afraid to be honest in telling me to jai yen yen (literally means 'cool heart' - basically, 'be patient').  She helped me understand the hierarchical system here in Thailand, during a time I was experiencing and struggling with it.  She also is the only person here who knows the 30 year old American woman in me: meaning, we go out to party and dance together! I hope one day she comes to New York, so I can share my home with her, the way she has shared hers with me.  

Me and Cartoon 

Cartoon and her adorable kids!