The Not-so-pretty Truth

Before setting off on the journey to Thailand, I attended a ‘staging’ in Philadelphia.  It was there that I met my fellow volunteers and was given a brief introduction to Peace Corps.  The facilitator, a returned PCV, said to us: “On good days, post a blog; on bad days, journal”.  Most often I agree with her because when I am having a bad day here, I tend to feel so emotionally charged that if I were to share it, I may not accurately portray the situation, Thailand, its culture or its people.  Sometimes it’s just easier to vent to other volunteers who have a more intimate understanding of Thailand and its culture.  So, when I recently came across a very disturbing situation, I wasn’t sure if it should be shared through my blog.  Yet, if I only share the good/positive things about Thailand, well then where’s the reality in my experience and my words?  So here it is: a bit of the not-so-pretty truth: 

I was invited by my best friend, Pii Dtang, to attend a substance abuse training for youth in our community facilitated by the ‘Development Soldiers’.  Thailand has various sects within their army, one being these soldiers who focus on development work – since adolescent substance use has been a huge problem and concern here, the soldiers have been focusing their efforts on this issue.  

The training itself went well, the kids learned and had a great time. The second day, we took the kids on a little trip to do some hiking.  We boarded the bus at 7:30, greeted by a young police officer (who I'm not a fan of at all) from my community, microphone in hand, making commentary.  Of course, when I got on the bus, he had plenty to say about the ‘farang’.  I smiled and laughed, more so at the fact that there’s still commentary being made on my behalf wherever I go.  

As previously noted in my blogs, trips like this usually mean karaoke and dancing at all hours, but as it turns out, Thai teenagers prefer sleeping that early in the morning.  But despite the kids lack of interest, the 3 male leaders up front continued to sing to blasting music.  The police officer opens a bottle of whiskey about 5 minutes into our trip.  I roll my eyes because where I come from, people don’t drink at substance use prevention events, but we aren’t in my country, we’re in Thailand.  So, I try to avoid reacting.  He offers whiskey to Pii Dtang and I and we both decline - all of the soldiers decline as well and I’m grateful for that.  He begins to make his way down the bus aisle to where some of the ‘older’ teens are sitting, and by older I mean maybe 17, and he proceeds to OFFER IT TO THEM!  Despite the fact that they are older, they are still a part of this group of teens/young adults who were taught the previous day about the negative effects of substance use.  I was stunned and appalled - I looked at Pii Dtang and our conversation went like this:

Me: Pii, he’s giving it the kids! (in voice of disbelief)

Pii Dtang: No, no he’s not!  (in voice of disbelief - but then she follows my eyes and looks at him as he is handing a young girl the bottle and she takes a swig – Pii Dtang turns back around and says nothing).

Me: there is plenty I wanted to say/do, but instead I just stared at Pii Dtang waiting for her reaction.  I’ve learned that in situations where you don’t know what to do, it’s best to follow the lead of a Thai woman. 

Pii Dtang: finally she says, “I don’t like that – do you?”

Me: No – not at all, especially at an event like this. 

Pii Dtang: vehemently agrees with me.  The adults like to drink whiskey and sing.

That is something I learned very early on in my stay in Thailand.  Thai's (mainly men) love to drink, in very large quantities, all the time.  As the guy passes us again, Pii Dtang asks him if he offered whiskey to the kids and he blew it off like it was no big deal.  I can’t lie and say that I’m not disappointed that Pii Dtang didn’t take further action, but I would venture to say she didn’t for the following reasons:

      1)      She’s a woman and he was a man with some social status - hierarchy, although often not truly earned, matters here.  Also three of the adults in charge, who are also leaders in the community were drinking throughout the entire day. 

a.       We call this saving face- a concept well known in Asian culture – basically meaning not to insult or make anybody look bad in front of others, regardless of the situation.

      2)    Saying something would not have made any difference - although I'm never a believer of that statement and can't believe I'm actually writing it.  Drinking at all ages (begins as early as 10 years old here) is just accepted. I emphasize this word, because so many people dislike it, and so many village leaders are trying to address this issue, yet often their actions enable this type of behavior.   Alcoholism is a known issue in Thailand (ok, all over the world, it’s just indescribably different here) and it’s customary in this country that nobody says anything to stir the pot or ruin someone’s good time. 

Despite all of this, we proceeded to have a lovely day at the National Park where we hiked, and for Thai people who don’t really do much activity, this was a bit of a hike!  

Pii Dtang and I picked mushrooms (I couldn’t help but think of that young guy that the book Into the Wild was written on behalf of and how he died, basically because he ate a poisonous herb.  While one can pretty much eat anything that grows out of the ground in Thailand).   Pii Dtang and I also had an intense conversation about what took place on the bus and decided to take matters into our own hands where we are the ones working with the kids/youth. This unfortunate situation with the police officer giving alcohol to the kids ended up inspiring us – Pii Dtang is basically tired of all these regular shenanigans and has decided that her and I will be leaders to provide an opportunity for troubled youth.  She’s been informing everybody about our new group, where no alcohol and/or drugs are allowed – we begin next Friday night :)

The Toilet Paper Test

Well, this didn't actually start out as a test; it kind of turned into that....in my head at least.  It began when I came back home to my village after being gone for a month and I had nothing in my house, including toilet paper. I guess I should preface with the toilet paper (TP) situation in Thailand - ok, here it is: they don't use TP in Thailand. Well, I shouldn't say that - Thai's use TP as napkins and paper towels, but not for private time in the bathroom.  Thai bathrooms (both household and public) typically have 1 of 2 options:

1. The butt sprayer - imagine a sprayer that you take off of the wall, when you push the tab, water shoots out to clean your butt, hence a butt sprayer (*Please note this is most common in public bathrooms and pretty much the only option in hotels - at least the cheap hotels I stay in).

Butt sprayer with a typical squat toilet - note that this is what I'd consider clean

2. Big tub o' water - imagine a big tub or urn filled with water.  Now take your hand or a bucket, whichever you prefer, and clean yourself with the water from the big tub o' water = water wipe.

This is just to help you visualize the concept, but this is way more clean than anything you'll find outside of my house.  Typically, this option is dirty, stinky, with a squat toilet, and a big tub of brown, dirty, buggy water

Now, imagine being in a dirty (and I mean dirty) public bathroom with one of these 2 options.  God only knows where that butt sprayer has been and you can always count on the big tub o' water being filled with dirty, brown, bug infested water.  The bucket used to wash with is always filthy (and I mean filthy) and there's NEVER any soap to wash your hands afterwards.  Really, you ask?  Yes, really.

Coming from America where we simply just wipe with some TP and call it a day, this was troublesome for me.  Yet, carrying TP everywhere just became exhausting.  Largely because you can't wash the TP down the squat toilet or regular bowl (the plumbing in the country just can't handle all that) and you have to pray there's a garbage pail around - and those are almost as rare as TP.  So, what do I do?

1. I stock up on TP in my house and always have a garbage pail nearby.

2. When travelling, I try to remember the TP but often forget and/or there's no garbage pail around.  So, I learned to embrace the drip dry.  C'mon, we've all done it.

3. If in a clean public bathroom, I've learned to rock that butt sprayer.  It took me a solid year in this country to be ok with that, but I've finally come to terms with it.  Despite the fact that I'm more wet after using the sprayer (they have massive shooting power), at least I feel cleaner.

So,  now that we have that out of the way, I'll go back to my TP Test.  I came home with no TP in the house and seeing that I was too lazy to get more, I figured I'd just suck it up for the day and rock the water wipe (see #2 in Thai bathroom options).  If you notice, the water wipe has never been an option I have chosen - so this was new for me.  I also had a cold and had to blow my nose incessantly - I figured my grandpa always used a handkerchief, so can I!  Well, that 1 day turned into a full week without TP in my house.  I've been to the store during that time but always forgot to buy TP, so I began wondering that maybe I have officially become accustomed to the Thai bathroom situation.  I was secretly proud of myself and realized that this past week turned into the TP Test of my life.....and I passed! (*please note that not using TP is also better for the environment, so I was extra proud of that fact.)  Granted, it's been a very 'wet in the crotch area' kind of a week, but we can't win em' all.

But then, a weak moment came upon me.  It was sitting there on the shelf, enticing me, practically screaming my name.  And so I bought a roll of TP.  And the first time I used it I actually felt guilty. I had been so strong that week with going all naturale and all and then I succumbed.  Just.like.that.  It was like all those times I've quit smoking and then I would have "just 1 cigarette" and feel so awful, but so good at the same time.  And then, you pick that bad habit right back up as if you never stopped.  That's exactly what it was like with the TP.

Now, a week after my first TP purchase, I'm still using TP in my house but on a more conscious level....aka I'm using it sparsely.  If I walk away with nothing else from this PC experience, at least I can always turn back to the TP test and feel semi-proud.