Happy New Year!

For American’s/Westerner’s, New Years Eve is a time for celebration, laughing, partying, drinking, dancing, talking and spending time with good friends and family.  Last year, despite that I was in Thailand, I celebrated in the same fashion in a popular Thai city with my PCV friends.  Since I didn’t experience a true Thai New Years last year, I chose to stay at home this year to celebrate with my villagers.   It will officially go down as the most boring and uncomfortable New Years Eve of my life.  Here’s how it went down.

I’m excited.  I come home from a crazy day of Thai-napping (when Thai people kidnap you and you do Thai-like things for an incessant amount of time) and ask my neighbors what time they are going to temple for the celebrations.  From the beginning, I understand that the celebrations will be different from what I’m used to as NYE for my local villagers consists of making merit, meaning lots of chanting/meditating.  But I was quite surprised when they told me that they’d be there at 6pm until at least 1am, possibly sleeping there.  In my head I decided I would only stay for a few hours because although I want the traditional Thai NYE experience, I certainly don’t want to sit in the chanting position for at least 7 hours.  I was happy with cheering for the last 10 seconds of 2012 on my own, in the comfort of my home.  

                   

Some of the locals sitting around me - everybody is all smiles while waiting for the monks to arrive

But this didn't happen.  In 65 degree weather (which believe it or not is absolutely freezing here), I sat in that damn chanting position for 7.5 hours alongside my neighbors and sleeping children, chanting right on through the countdown.  

With this large quantity of time to think or not think….this is how I utilized my time:

My view  for the night

       1.       This could be fun and relaxing….but I’m still outta here by 10pm

       2.       Hmmm, the aura of the night and the people lead me to believe I may not be leaving by 10pm

       3.       10pm, why am I still here?

       4.       You wanted this Erica….this was your decision.     

       5.       Many escape route plans go through my head

       6.       I’m annoyed because none will happen

       7.       Oh, I wonder how long I just fell asleep for?

       8.      I’m bored

       9.   I love America

      10.    How is it that I’m freezing at only 65 degrees?

With my neighbors, while I was still happy

      11. Ants really are interesting.  Everybody should   take a few minutes to watch them work

      12.   Finally thought through that financial thing I had to think about…

      13.   I hope big papa Buddha brings some good things in 2013 for being here

      14.   Erica, what a selfish thought….stop it

      

      15.  12:00am fireworks going off….we chant on through

      16.  Why can’t you be friends with the 19 year old punks?  We all know they are having way more fun right now….

      17.  Woops...fell asleep again!

      18.   I’m hungry and tired 

      19.   1am and they are still doing this...but some people are leaving...this is my chance!  

      20. 1:30 - peaced out!  Home to my semi-less cold house to sleep under my 5 blankets!

One of the of 4 pee/coffee breaks.  The smile means it was probably the first one, still fairly early into the festivities. 

    

I know how you feel grandma....this is about as happy as most of us were after a few hours

What does a farang’s (white person/foreigner) boob look like?

Well, now you can ask my lady neighbors, as they have all officially studied my boobs (well, if we’re going to get technical, it was just my left one).   True story.

Thai people are affectionate with other people of the same sex – their affection towards each other is typically not done in a sexual way or with sexual intentions. They are not affectionate with the opposite sex, someone they are interested in or even their mate/life partner.  Yet, men are known to hold hands, put their arms around each other, place their hand on their chum’s upper thigh, sometimes even go in for a crotch grab.  Women do the same thing with each other: hand-holding, walking arm and arm and on a good day, a love tap on the ass by grandma (I once got a crotch grab when I was told to make babies with a Thai man – yes, another true story).  I’m an affectionate person (I’m a huge hugger, but Thai’s unfortunately do not hug…unless you want the most awkward moment of your life) so I've always welcomed this friendly affection as the closest thing to human touch I often long for (you never realize how much you could miss it until it’s gone).  Tonight, however, my comfort levels were beyond tested and let’s just say, this little lady did not pass.

I was hanging with the ladies on my block this evening.  Discussion turned to bra’s and P’Leet lifted up her shirt to show us her bra, grabbed her breasts and stated how big they were.  P’Mondri shared that she never wears a bra and I stated how envious I was.  I continued to engage myself by telling the crew I was in need of some new bra’s and asked where I could buy them.  This was my crucial mistake: turning the discussion towards me.  Questions began to be fired at me at lightning speed: "Oh, you wear a bra? Does yours have a snap in the back? What kind do you wear when you go running?  How much did that one cost?"  Before I could even attempt answers (drumroll please) P’Leet lifted up my shirt and my sports bra to get a good full-on-shot of my left breast.  She proceeds to pinch my nipple while commenting on how white my breasts are and demanding to know why there’s no milk coming out of my nipple when she squeezes it.  All the ladies chime in by saying it’s because I’ve never had children.  Uncomfortable as I am with all of this, I’m trying to pretend that I’m ok, but thankfully get myself back to an appropriate state (i.e. boobs under the shirt) fairly quickly. 

I was then told that I’m not shy because I’m a farang.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had the conversation with Thai’s trying to explain that Americans are different than Europeans: although Europeans prefer to be topless at the beach, Americans, yes although many of us are also white, do not.  So, rather than going down that path, I simply stated that I normally don’t show my breasts like that. There was an uproar with P’Leet stating that we’re all women, no need to be concerned or shy.  While P’Mondri, in efforts to make me feel better, showed me her breasts.  I can’t lie, but the fact that P’Mondri also shared her breasts did, in fact, make me feel better.  I was then asked if I show my breasts to boys.  It was at this point that I took the simple path of “I’m sorry, I don’t understand”.  Conversation, as always, eventually made its way back to food.  Just another night in the hood.

The Not-so-pretty Truth

Before setting off on the journey to Thailand, I attended a ‘staging’ in Philadelphia.  It was there that I met my fellow volunteers and was given a brief introduction to Peace Corps.  The facilitator, a returned PCV, said to us: “On good days, post a blog; on bad days, journal”.  Most often I agree with her because when I am having a bad day here, I tend to feel so emotionally charged that if I were to share it, I may not accurately portray the situation, Thailand, its culture or its people.  Sometimes it’s just easier to vent to other volunteers who have a more intimate understanding of Thailand and its culture.  So, when I recently came across a very disturbing situation, I wasn’t sure if it should be shared through my blog.  Yet, if I only share the good/positive things about Thailand, well then where’s the reality in my experience and my words?  So here it is: a bit of the not-so-pretty truth: 

I was invited by my best friend, Pii Dtang, to attend a substance abuse training for youth in our community facilitated by the ‘Development Soldiers’.  Thailand has various sects within their army, one being these soldiers who focus on development work – since adolescent substance use has been a huge problem and concern here, the soldiers have been focusing their efforts on this issue.  

The training itself went well, the kids learned and had a great time. The second day, we took the kids on a little trip to do some hiking.  We boarded the bus at 7:30, greeted by a young police officer (who I'm not a fan of at all) from my community, microphone in hand, making commentary.  Of course, when I got on the bus, he had plenty to say about the ‘farang’.  I smiled and laughed, more so at the fact that there’s still commentary being made on my behalf wherever I go.  

As previously noted in my blogs, trips like this usually mean karaoke and dancing at all hours, but as it turns out, Thai teenagers prefer sleeping that early in the morning.  But despite the kids lack of interest, the 3 male leaders up front continued to sing to blasting music.  The police officer opens a bottle of whiskey about 5 minutes into our trip.  I roll my eyes because where I come from, people don’t drink at substance use prevention events, but we aren’t in my country, we’re in Thailand.  So, I try to avoid reacting.  He offers whiskey to Pii Dtang and I and we both decline - all of the soldiers decline as well and I’m grateful for that.  He begins to make his way down the bus aisle to where some of the ‘older’ teens are sitting, and by older I mean maybe 17, and he proceeds to OFFER IT TO THEM!  Despite the fact that they are older, they are still a part of this group of teens/young adults who were taught the previous day about the negative effects of substance use.  I was stunned and appalled - I looked at Pii Dtang and our conversation went like this:

Me: Pii, he’s giving it the kids! (in voice of disbelief)

Pii Dtang: No, no he’s not!  (in voice of disbelief - but then she follows my eyes and looks at him as he is handing a young girl the bottle and she takes a swig – Pii Dtang turns back around and says nothing).

Me: there is plenty I wanted to say/do, but instead I just stared at Pii Dtang waiting for her reaction.  I’ve learned that in situations where you don’t know what to do, it’s best to follow the lead of a Thai woman. 

Pii Dtang: finally she says, “I don’t like that – do you?”

Me: No – not at all, especially at an event like this. 

Pii Dtang: vehemently agrees with me.  The adults like to drink whiskey and sing.

That is something I learned very early on in my stay in Thailand.  Thai's (mainly men) love to drink, in very large quantities, all the time.  As the guy passes us again, Pii Dtang asks him if he offered whiskey to the kids and he blew it off like it was no big deal.  I can’t lie and say that I’m not disappointed that Pii Dtang didn’t take further action, but I would venture to say she didn’t for the following reasons:

      1)      She’s a woman and he was a man with some social status - hierarchy, although often not truly earned, matters here.  Also three of the adults in charge, who are also leaders in the community were drinking throughout the entire day. 

a.       We call this saving face- a concept well known in Asian culture – basically meaning not to insult or make anybody look bad in front of others, regardless of the situation.

      2)    Saying something would not have made any difference - although I'm never a believer of that statement and can't believe I'm actually writing it.  Drinking at all ages (begins as early as 10 years old here) is just accepted. I emphasize this word, because so many people dislike it, and so many village leaders are trying to address this issue, yet often their actions enable this type of behavior.   Alcoholism is a known issue in Thailand (ok, all over the world, it’s just indescribably different here) and it’s customary in this country that nobody says anything to stir the pot or ruin someone’s good time. 

Despite all of this, we proceeded to have a lovely day at the National Park where we hiked, and for Thai people who don’t really do much activity, this was a bit of a hike!  

Pii Dtang and I picked mushrooms (I couldn’t help but think of that young guy that the book Into the Wild was written on behalf of and how he died, basically because he ate a poisonous herb.  While one can pretty much eat anything that grows out of the ground in Thailand).   Pii Dtang and I also had an intense conversation about what took place on the bus and decided to take matters into our own hands where we are the ones working with the kids/youth. This unfortunate situation with the police officer giving alcohol to the kids ended up inspiring us – Pii Dtang is basically tired of all these regular shenanigans and has decided that her and I will be leaders to provide an opportunity for troubled youth.  She’s been informing everybody about our new group, where no alcohol and/or drugs are allowed – we begin next Friday night :)

The Toilet Paper Test

Well, this didn't actually start out as a test; it kind of turned into that....in my head at least.  It began when I came back home to my village after being gone for a month and I had nothing in my house, including toilet paper. I guess I should preface with the toilet paper (TP) situation in Thailand - ok, here it is: they don't use TP in Thailand. Well, I shouldn't say that - Thai's use TP as napkins and paper towels, but not for private time in the bathroom.  Thai bathrooms (both household and public) typically have 1 of 2 options:

1. The butt sprayer - imagine a sprayer that you take off of the wall, when you push the tab, water shoots out to clean your butt, hence a butt sprayer (*Please note this is most common in public bathrooms and pretty much the only option in hotels - at least the cheap hotels I stay in).

Butt sprayer with a typical squat toilet - note that this is what I'd consider clean

2. Big tub o' water - imagine a big tub or urn filled with water.  Now take your hand or a bucket, whichever you prefer, and clean yourself with the water from the big tub o' water = water wipe.

This is just to help you visualize the concept, but this is way more clean than anything you'll find outside of my house.  Typically, this option is dirty, stinky, with a squat toilet, and a big tub of brown, dirty, buggy water

Now, imagine being in a dirty (and I mean dirty) public bathroom with one of these 2 options.  God only knows where that butt sprayer has been and you can always count on the big tub o' water being filled with dirty, brown, bug infested water.  The bucket used to wash with is always filthy (and I mean filthy) and there's NEVER any soap to wash your hands afterwards.  Really, you ask?  Yes, really.

Coming from America where we simply just wipe with some TP and call it a day, this was troublesome for me.  Yet, carrying TP everywhere just became exhausting.  Largely because you can't wash the TP down the squat toilet or regular bowl (the plumbing in the country just can't handle all that) and you have to pray there's a garbage pail around - and those are almost as rare as TP.  So, what do I do?

1. I stock up on TP in my house and always have a garbage pail nearby.

2. When travelling, I try to remember the TP but often forget and/or there's no garbage pail around.  So, I learned to embrace the drip dry.  C'mon, we've all done it.

3. If in a clean public bathroom, I've learned to rock that butt sprayer.  It took me a solid year in this country to be ok with that, but I've finally come to terms with it.  Despite the fact that I'm more wet after using the sprayer (they have massive shooting power), at least I feel cleaner.

So,  now that we have that out of the way, I'll go back to my TP Test.  I came home with no TP in the house and seeing that I was too lazy to get more, I figured I'd just suck it up for the day and rock the water wipe (see #2 in Thai bathroom options).  If you notice, the water wipe has never been an option I have chosen - so this was new for me.  I also had a cold and had to blow my nose incessantly - I figured my grandpa always used a handkerchief, so can I!  Well, that 1 day turned into a full week without TP in my house.  I've been to the store during that time but always forgot to buy TP, so I began wondering that maybe I have officially become accustomed to the Thai bathroom situation.  I was secretly proud of myself and realized that this past week turned into the TP Test of my life.....and I passed! (*please note that not using TP is also better for the environment, so I was extra proud of that fact.)  Granted, it's been a very 'wet in the crotch area' kind of a week, but we can't win em' all.

But then, a weak moment came upon me.  It was sitting there on the shelf, enticing me, practically screaming my name.  And so I bought a roll of TP.  And the first time I used it I actually felt guilty. I had been so strong that week with going all naturale and all and then I succumbed.  Just.like.that.  It was like all those times I've quit smoking and then I would have "just 1 cigarette" and feel so awful, but so good at the same time.  And then, you pick that bad habit right back up as if you never stopped.  That's exactly what it was like with the TP.

Now, a week after my first TP purchase, I'm still using TP in my house but on a more conscious level....aka I'm using it sparsely.  If I walk away with nothing else from this PC experience, at least I can always turn back to the TP test and feel semi-proud.

Back in business

Back in Thailand.  All sorts of feelings about leaving home again to return back to my second home.  Considering I'm happy and established in Thailand, I thought it’d be fairly easy to return back. Not so much.  Leaving home for the second time was just as hard and emotional as it was the first, but I don’t regret going home at all – not for a second.  The time I had to spend with my family and closest friends was invaluable (see pics on facebook).  It’s been a difficult transition week, largely because since returning to Thailand, I have been travelling for meetings and trainings and only returned to my village yesterday.  Yet, being surrounded by my Peace Corps Volunteer (PCV) family this past week was helpful in my transition.  Back in the village 24 hours now and thought I'd share what my first day was like.  

Arriving home to my village: When I pulled up to my little house, my neighbors and the kids began to cheer and scream shouts of joy.  This sounds cheesy and maybe even a bit arrogant, but I don’t know how else to explain it.  The kids were jumping up and down, wai-ing me (gesture made in place of the American equivalent of a hand-shake or a hug) and yes, they were cheering and screaming shouts of joy.  I wai’ed back to my elders and also gave rounds of hugs because I was so overwhelmed with my emotions of happiness with seeing them after being away for 5 weeks (Not all of this was spent at home – lots of PC business travel as well).  The kids began to follow me into my house and thankfully the elders told them to give me a hot minute to relax, shower and unpack.

They loved the sticky bugs!

The kids: That hot minute didn’t last very long.  I was pretty much hanging with the kids from the minute I got home until dinner time: badminton, coloring, giving of gifts from America and playing games.   But my favorite moment was when one of the little girls threw her garbage in a forest (this is not so much a forest as it is a small patch of trees, but we call it a forest) we were playing near.  I asked her if that was a forest or a garbage can.  All the kids started jumping and screaming "It’s a forest and it’s natural."  They then decided to begin their own trash scavenger hunt – they snapped on some gloves, got on their bikes and rode around the village picking up garbage to be separated at my house for recycling.  They nominated that I’d give them prizes too – they sure know how to work me: initiate their own recycling activity and they know I’ll be all over the positive rewards! 

Thanks mom for being thoughtful - the kids loved the games 

Toilet bowl: My first attempt at a tinkle in my house I opened the top of the toilet bowl to find a lizard and a frog hanging out in there.  These critters find the weirdest places to hang out.

Erica was on T.V!: My neighbors told me (let me reiterate that they were so positive about this they didn’t ask me anything first – they began by telling me) they saw me on T.V. last week.   It went a little like this:

Neighbor: You were on T.V. last week at a boxing match

Me: Interesting – I’ve never been to a boxing match.

Neighbor: No, Grandpa (my landlords dad) saw you in the crowd at the match while watching T.V.  He said there was a farang as beautiful as you and had the same face as you.  Grandpa was sure it was you!

(Everybody joins in by telling me how beautiful I am.  I tell ya, that is one thing I'll never get tired of!)

Me: (laughing) Thank you but sorry guys – that definitely was not me!  Must’ve been 1 of the other billions of farangs in this world! (I didn’t really say that last sentence – I just thought that in my head)

I later saw grandpa and I said to him “Wow, you saw me on T.V. – I can’t believe it!” He started to laugh and he said “I knew it was you!”  I couldn’t go on too long with my joke so I immediately told him it wasn’t me – he actually didn’t believe me at first and it took a while to convince him.  I guess to him, all farangs look alike! 

The Chase. Is it really worth it?

I think it’s fair to say that many people like a good chase.  Whether chasing a job, a promotion or the hottie at the other end of the bar, it's usually a lot of fun.  Peace Corps is no different.  As Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) we are always chasing ‘The Big Project’ that will somehow impact our community in a big way.  In the past couple of weeks I’ve coordinated 2 events that one could consider ‘projects’.  Maybe not necessarily 'big ones', but projects none-the-less on issues that I feel extremely passionate about and that my community has expressed a need for:

1) An educational activity focusing on sexual health, substance use and making healthy choices with Thai adolescents at my local high school and

1) Painting murals about drugs and safe sex

2) a community-wide environmental awareness event that focused on waste and proper disposal in Thailand, including “Reuse, Reduce and Recycle”. This was to promote volunteerism in celebration of Peace Corps 50th Anniversary in Thailand. 

2) Garbage pick-up and later separated into the  4  recycling groups

I worked really hard and dedicated a lot of time and energy, yet somehow felt extremely disappointed after each one, rather than feeling the elation I was expecting.  Some who know me well may say that I’m notorious for having unattainable high expectations (which I must admit is true and to some degree a fault of mine) and that the lack of elation I felt was because of those expectations.  Don't get me wrong, there were many wonderful things about each event, but I also think there are sufficient reasons for my disappointment.  The long and short of it: Activity 1) Erica's style and Thailand's style struggled a bit with each other. Activity 2) Because the head of the Peace Corps came in support of the 50th Anniversary, my SAO prepared an afternoon of cultural performances.  This was absolutely lovely, but of a 3.5 hour event only 30 minutes were dedicated to the actual activity and therefore, it was not completed in full.  I view these activities as products of The Chase, which inspired me to write this blog.

The Chase (verb): physically, mentally, emotionally trying to reach/achieve/get something or someone (written by me). 

I've come to the conclusion that impacting my community in a ‘big way’ via a ‘big project’ (this is a perfect example of The Chase) is just not happening during my time in Thailand.  This could be just for me, but I do think there is some truth to this for the overall Peace Corps experience.  No, this is no  Debbie-Downer or Pessimistic-Patty moment, instead this is a Realistic-Rosie or Take-the-Unnecessary-Pressure-Off-My-Shoulders-Sally kind of a moment.  Most of us PCVs joke about the ‘small victories’: 1 successful 60 minute lesson in the classroom, a new friendship with a Thai person, 1 dedicated person who digs crocheting pocketbooks out of plastic bags, or 1 village kid who regularly throws their milk carton in your recycle bin.  But, why do we, as PCVs, minimize that?  At the end of the day, the small victories make me feel the best, the most successful and the most happy. 

As I write this, I ask myself “What the hell is wrong with you Erica?” mainly because I’ve written previous blogs and yapped away for hours about the significance of ‘planting seeds’ and that impacting just one Thai person is truly a success.  And that’s not just BS, I really do believe that.  So, why am I here again? Why is all of that so hard to believe when you are on the other side?  I can't tell ya, because I have no clue.  So, to help me move forward wouldn't it be best to focus on what is important?  Yes, I think so too.  What’s important is how the things I do make me and others feel.  If we all feel like The Bomb and start singing 'Kumbaya' after those small victories, well then maybe they aren’t so small after all.  And the things I'm chasing, aren't all that big.

So, there you have it: No, The Chase is not worth it.  Focusing energy on the things that make you and the others around you feel good and inspired is worth it.  So, I’m officially over The Chase.  I’m kicking it like a bad habit (although I typically have trouble kicking bad habits, so you may see a blog post like this again sometime soon).   I’m back on the Small Victories ban-wagon, folks! But, before I do this, I think a good "Re-charge, Re-energize and Re-fresh" is in order....and home (as in NY, to be with my amazing family and friends - YAY!) is where I'm going to get it.  When I come back, I'll be ready to Go-Get-Em-Earl! Cheezy, I know - but it's Saturday night and I'm spooning Peanut Butter (thanks to loved ones back home who send me packages) out of the jar writing a blog - cut me some slack ;)

Bai tiao'in

Bai-tiao: it means to take a trip. This concept of ‘taking a trip’ in Thailand is so different from anything Americans do, it’s going to be hard for me to explain, but I’ll try.  First, Thai’s use it in a variety of situations including literally going on a trip/vacation or taking a trip to the supermarket in the main district (about 20 km away).  No matter what, you spend more time in the car than you do in the final destination.  Many volunteers have gone on bai-tiao’s with their school and/or governmental office in which an enormous double decker bus, fully decked out with disco lights and a rockin karaoke system is rented.  I have only done this once – the round-trip was 10 hours and we were at the destination for approximately 2 hours.  I considered myself lucky as many volunteers have sat on the bus for a round trip of 24 hours to stay at the destination for just 2 hours.   Oh, and Thai’s don’t sleep while on these bus trips  – so that rockin’ karaoke system is rockin’ for the entire time you are on that bus – 4am or 4pm, time means nothing….I mean this literally.  

A regular old bai-tiao usually consists of packing in too many people in a truck of some kind, and no karaoke (thank God!).  Whatever the estimated arrival time is (if there even is one), add a minimum of 3 hours to that – this time reference should be used for doing anything and everything in Thailand.  Us PCVs call this “Thai Time”.

My very good friend Pii Dtang invited me to bai-tiao to take her daughter, Gung (who I love) to her first year of college in a near-by province and the itinerary is to go like this: leave at 8am, arrive 12pm, stay for 3 hours (eat, settle in, etc) leave at 3pm and arrive home by 7pm.  I immediately tacked on the minimum 3 hours and figured I’d arrive home by 10pm – either way I was excited.   I now bring you the story of the bai-tiao to the University.

1                .       

      1.  Pii Dtang and Gung pick me up (at 8:30) and proceed to tell me that we are going with Gung’s boyfriend (his name is Ek), who is going to the same university, and his family.  My enthusiasm level drops a notch or two, as I knew this meant that we’d be packing 2 families into 1 car, along with their freshman college belongings.  Also, as lovely as his mom is (I’ll be referring to her as Mom throughout this story), the woman LOVES to talk and is just exhausting. 

      2.       We arrive at Ek's house and Gung realizes she forgot her registration paperwork – now she must go back home.  When she returns 30 minutes later we begin packing the truck with all of their stuff, including a motorcycle (for the guy), 1 year worth of rice for 2 people, too many pillows and blankets, some food and 2 ridiculously small suitcases of clothes, etc.  I’m told I’ll be sitting in the back seat of the pick-up truck along with Pii Dtang and Mom, when all I really wanted was to sit in the pick-up part with the kids.  Dad is in front and the hired driver is driving.  We are ready to leave at 10:30 and I’m already exhausted.  Apparently so is the driver because he drinks his first of 23 energy drinks throughout the day.

Gung and her boyfriend, Ek

      3.       We are squished in the back, literally my legs are so cramped the pain begins about 5 minutes into the trip.  Pii Dtang and I look at each other and she announces she’s tired and going to nap (I think she finds mom as exhausting as I do).  I announce the same.

      4.       As I’m “napping” Mom is continuously asking me questions and I continue to “nap” and avoid having to answer.  I think Mom is just someone who doesn’t like quiet, so she’s always making noise to fill in the gaps.

      5.       The first of approximately 24 stops at 7-11 is about 1 hour into the trip.  I’m surprised it’s taken this long.  I’m starving and break out my raw carrot sticks and sweet peas for all of us to snack on.  Proceed to have a conversation about how strange, yet good, my eating habits are.

Gung in the back of the truck, passing time :)

      6.       Second stop is to eat lunch.  We pass a trazillion markets, but nothing is good enough for Mom as she claims they are all dirty, so we stop at 7-11 for them to eat 7-11 food which is full of crap. But, Pii Dtang is the bomb and brought lunch so we ate sticky rice and fried eggs in the back of the truck.

      7.       30 minutes later, Mom has stomach pains from having to pee so badly.  Mom had about 2 sips of water the whole trip, yet had to pee every 30 minutes.

      8.       5.5 hours later, we arrive at our final destination at 3pm, which if you refer back to the original itinerary, is the time we were supposed to be leaving.   Either way, I’m super excited for Gung and taking pictures of the campus, the kids and reminiscing about my college days.

     9.       We move Ek in first and realize that none of his roommates have arrived (4 people to a room) and this is cause for much distressed conversation.  They were all concerned because he ‘has no friends yet’.  When I found out, I said he was lucky because he got first dibs on beds.  Another moment that made me realize how American I am.

     ** I have to note that in colleges in Thailand, boys and girls live in separate buildings.  At most American colleges, boys and girls live on the same floor of the same building, but are separated by sides of the floor.  As usual, I was asking a million questions (I wouldn’t be surprised if Thai people find me exhausting as I am always asking umpteen questions) and learned that girls are not even allowed to enter the boy’s dorm building and vise versa.  They must wait outside.

The female and male dorms are all the same
but on different sides of the campus 

All the rooms are the same

The move-in help....only at the female dorms

      

     



     10.   We hang out in Gung’s dorm room for 2 hours, say good-bye to the kids (originally I was the only one who hugged Gung, as in Thai culture there is no hugging, only wai’ing. But then Mom gave them awkward hugs and forced Pii Dtang to hug them as well) and leave to eat dinner at 6pm.  I must note that when leaving Gung’s dorm room, we discovered that somebody had taken my shoes instead of theirs.  So I was shoeless until we hit a market J

Gung, me (shoeless), Ek's sister, Ek's Mom and Dad

11.   We are on the road at 7pm (please note this was the time we were to be home).   Now the back of the pick-up is empty and Pii Dtang wants to sit back there with Mom’s daughter –so do I but Mom can’t sit in the car by herself even though she has dad and driver to hang out with.  Either way, I’m made to sit in the cramped car with her.  I immediately “fall asleep”, she continues to ask me questions and talk to me while “I’m sleeping”.  I’m also freezing, as Thai’s blast the A/C in the car and never lower it.  I don’t know if it’s because this is the only place they have A/C and so they relish in it, but regardless, I am freezing every time I’m in a       
                                                                                       car/bus/van that has A/C.

      12.   We stop at 7-11 another 14 times for the bathroom and regular snacking.  The driver drinks an energy drink at each of these stops.  He also smokes a cigarette and then sprays himself with what smells like old-school car air freshener.  He sprayed so much each time, I thought I’d lose a year of my life from loss of lung capacity due to the fumes.

      13.   I enter my home at 12 midnight on the dot, 5 hours later than anticipated…..not too bad.   

      14.   It was a really cute day at the college.  Gung was excited but said she also felt ‘strange’…..I remember those days in college.  I also remember those regular moments here in Thailand, so I can relate to her!

Friends in Thailand

One of my greatest fears about going into the Peace Corps was not making good friends. Typically, I don't need much in life, but people and relationships is something I find I can't live without.  I knew there'd be tons of barriers, language just being one of the many, and I was uncertain if I'd overcome them.  Now, having lived here for 1 year, I’d say the friends I’ve made is one of my greatest Peace Corps accomplishments.

Pii Dtang cooking for a ceremony at her Wat 

Pii Dtang in a nutshell, is the bomb.  I first met Pii Dtang when I walked into a meeting, looked around and this lady and I caught each other’s eye.  She gave me a little smile, hit the seat next to her and gave me this head nod that said, ‘Sit your hiney right here next to me’.  So, I did.  Most people giggle when I sit with them, or ask me what I ate for lunch, if I’m hot (as I have sweat dripping off of my face)…stuff like that.  But not Pii Dtang – she went right in for the kill: who am I, what am I doing here, why did I join PC, etc?  She gave me one of the warmest and most sincere smiles I’ve seen in Thailand as well as a piece of candy…..I was sold.  She is 47, a mother of 3, cares for her 81 y/o mother (just fyi: 81 in Thailand is ancient, they just don’t make it that long here….her mom is a hoot too and strong as hell!) and older mentally handicapped and diabetic sister (they live with her).  She’s been married for 19 years and although she lights up when she talks about her hubby, they have never lived together as he has either lived outside of Thailand or in Bangkok (currently) for work.  She is the assistant village headman (but does all the work of the village headman), village accountant, leader of the women’s group, raises cows/ducks/turkeys, has every kind of food you could imagine growing outside her house and grows rice every year for her family.  You name it, Pii Dtang can do it.  As busy as she is, she always makes time for me.  Her family invites me everywhere, and she does special things just to ensure I experience Thai culture.  She cooks me special vegetarian Thai food, taught me how to raise cows, taught me what Thailand was like 30 years ago when she was a teen (no running water, no electricity) and has told me her smart philosophy on raising kids in Thailand.  We take naps after we eat lunch and end up chatting like teenagers instead.  If I need advice or I’m having a rough day, I go visit Pii Dtang because she just gets me and she’s so rational.  She’s got a heart of gold and has become like my older Thai sister.  I always leave her presence feeling lighter.  I was doing breast cancer checks at the health station one day and someone said to me: ‘You have to talk to Pii Dtang because she hasn’t gotten checked yet’.  I was in deep thought as I was feeling for lumps and I said ‘Pii Dtang who?’ and her response was ‘Your Pii Dtang’.  I thought it was cute and realized that yes, she is my Pii Dtang.  My Pii Dtang, the bomb.

Pii Dtang and I at Loy Kratong Festival

Pii Dtang's children at a ceremony her daughter was dancing in.  We are  dropping her daughter off at her 1st year of college this week!

Pii Jaloo and Pii Wan

These two fabulous, strong, lively and energetic women are sisters and both in their 50’s.  Pii Jaloo is very involved in her village as a village council member and the leader of the community investment bank (everybody in the village contributes money on a monthly basis to pay for funerals and such in their village - everything is a community effort here).  Her husband died from cancer about 2 years ago.  Pii Wan has been battling cancer for 3 years – first she had breast cancer but had those bad boys removed, then some chemo/radiation/the whole bit, for it to come back to her lungs last year.  She has completed chemo for the second time and has been working on getting strong again and has just found out that she still has cancer and must continue her treatments….it’s been a trying time.  I should also tell you that she has to travel 4-5 hours away, in another province, to receive the chemo and visit the doctor.  Her cheating husband left her about 2 years ago in the middle of her health crisis and she was probably better off for it.  Despite all of this, they are both always ready for a good time and they love to laugh.  I visit them a couple times/month and I’m greeted with genuinely warm hugs (note: hugs are uncommon here), kisses and gentle butt taps (which remind me of my grandma and so I happily welcome them!).  When I’m there, we usually do one the following: play dress-Erica-up, take photos, sing karaoke, dance, serve Erica cold water and fruit because she’s always so hot, make flower bouquets out of banana leaves, talk about farting, laugh, dance, sing some more.  I adore them and feel so comfortable with them.  Also, they are looking for some foreign boyfriends – I told them I’d ask around ;)

Pii Jaloo and I singing karaoke at their house 

Pii Wan (left) and Pii Jaloo (right)

Pii Dtou and Grandpa

My mom with my neighbors :)

Mom and Dad with Grandpa and the fishing
device he makes out of bamboo

Because of Pii Dtou and her dad/my grandpa (and also because of my other fabulous neighbors and great noodle shop across the street) I am thankful I moved to the house I live in.  Pii Dtou is a 47 y/o single woman who lives with her 73 year old dad who is phenomenal.  All of my visitors from America have met him and just love him: he goes to his field/garden every day and sits there and makes ‘stuff’ out of nothing.  The man can do anything and I’ve seen him go to great and impressive lengths to pick me fruit off of a very high tree…..anybody who does that to give me food is good in my book!  He also reminds me of my own grandfather and I warmed to him instantly.  The best thing about Pii Dtou is that we can hang out and talk for hours.  She’s patient with me and always finds a way to teach me something, mainly language.  I’ve shared some personal things about my life with Pii Dtou and I trust her with all of it.  She is a tailor and can pretty much do anything with her hands (I guess like her dad, she can make ‘stuff’ out of nothing).  She is 1 of the women who now crochets pocketbooks out of plastic bags – but hers are the most beautiful!  She has also begun to recycle and now we sell our recyclables together, comparing our plastics and metals!  She’s been a huge supporter of my recycling escapades.  She understands the importance of taking care of our environment and feels strongly about educating our village as much as I do.  She has recently helped me communicate this to the head monk at our village Wat.  He has agreed to let us begin a collection point at the Wat.  Pii Dtou has been essential in helping me create the information board and grandpa is making the recycling bins our of bamboo and banana leaves – gotta love it!  Basically, Pii Dtou and Grandpa are simply great people and has made my time here extra special.

Pii  Dtou and her first recycled pocketbook

Grandpa picking linchee - the rickety ladder made of bamboo

Cartoon - Because most people in their 20's and 30's go to bigger cities for work, that age group is hard to find in the village - the main reason why my friends are all 13 and younger or 45+.....except for Cartoon.  She is my Thai host sister and I lived with her the first month at my site.  She speaks English very well, has 2 adorable kids (they are all over my facebook albums!) and really took care of me when I first came here.  I don't know how I would have survived without her.  She took me everywhere, showed me the ins and outs of my village and community, introduced me to everyone and Thai life and cooked me some amazing vegetarian Thai food.  She is like a sister to me and I don't know if she'll ever know how much her time and dedication means to me, especially during my first month at site.  The transition to my site the first month was a very difficult time for me; I was so uncertain, vulnerable, scared, frustrated, lonely and in desperate need of a friend.  Cartoon was always there.  When I struggled with my Thai Supervisor, Cartoon let me vent and understood, but wasn't afraid to be honest in telling me to jai yen yen (literally means 'cool heart' - basically, 'be patient').  She helped me understand the hierarchical system here in Thailand, during a time I was experiencing and struggling with it.  She also is the only person here who knows the 30 year old American woman in me: meaning, we go out to party and dance together! I hope one day she comes to New York, so I can share my home with her, the way she has shared hers with me.  

Me and Cartoon 

Cartoon and her adorable kids!

Site, site, site

I made a New Years Resolution to stay at my site unless I had to attend something related to benefiting my community. Here are some updates on what I've been doing since being 'all couped up'!

Recycling - working with a group of 3 other PCVs to learn about waste management and recycling in Thailand.  We call ourselves the Eco-femi-warriors!  We have visited an international recycling plant, 'Wongpanit', and the "City of Recycling" in Phitsanulok, Thailand. We are doing this to to increase knowledge and to raise awareness about the variety of projects in Thailand for our communities and other PCVs.  At the end of March, we are visiting a project that makes roofs out of milk cartons for poverty-stricken families.  

3rd to the left - Wongpanit himself! The 3 ladies on both sides of Wongpanit and myself are the Eco-femi-warriors!

In the interim, my more-instant gratification comes from educating my own community about recycling.  

Pii Dtik completes her 1st pocketbook

Teaching how separate garbage and to make mosquito traps as dengue
fever prevention and recycling (uses plastic bottles)

 Gender camp: The issues of gender and all that's included (sexual health, healthy relationships, gender roles and gender respect, homosexuality, alcohol use and how it affects behavior and decisions, self-esteem) are so broad and complex.  Thai culture adds another aspect that complicates it even more.  Because of this, the current GAD GIG (Gender and Development Global Initiative Group of Peace Corps) members have struggled with 'how' to address these issues.  We decided we needed to really hash out our thoughts and have a long, open-ended discussion.  The boys came over my house last weekend and although we had tons of fun, we did work the whole weekend and made progress.  We decided to host a gender camp in October for youth all over Thailand - this camp will address all of above-mentioned topics.  We are all very happy with this decision - can't you tell? :)

Current GAD'ers! Left: Joe, Center: Kyle, Right: Erica

Breast checks anyone?  Well, if you'd like one, I can now do that for you as I am the designated breast checker at my health station!  Oh, the things you'll do as a PCV!  I can go into the story of how this happened, but who really cares?  Fact is, it happened.  Breast cancer is a big problem in my community and something I've been concerned about, especially since it's affected some of my good friends here.  I was really nervous my first day but have been really happy that I somehow ended up with this task.  The ladies come in now and tell me their friends have told them the farang is checking breasts, but they didn't believe it....until now!  Since last week, I have checked about 50 women, 4 of whom had to get mammograms because of abnormalities and have provided 1:1 education to all 50 women on how to do monthly breast checks themselves.  I checked my friends breasts yesterday and she asked me if my breasts were the same as hers.  She's a funny lady and we've gotten into all sorts of interesting conversation, but I was tired and hungry and to save time, I told her yes.  She's now telling everybody her and I have the same breasts :)  Oh Thailand!

World Map: never thought I'd teach geography, but here I am.  Four 2-hour lessons on America, Thailand and the world and then the painting of the World Map with 30 4th, 5th, and 6th graders = a really good time!

More to come on the health day at the secondary school in June - it will focus on sexual health and how drugs/alcohol, gender respect and relationships all factor in.  For more information on Diabetes and Disability Group, please patiently await the upcoming blog-post titled 'Frustrations'!

Random conversations

As I sit at my computer, killing mosquitos with my electric zapper racket, trying to come to terms with the fact that the ‘cold’ season is coming to a tragic end, I reflect on the conversations of today.  I hope they give you a little inside scoop to my life as someone who will forever be a farang (foreigner), but so different from every other farang my people know they ‘kinda’ consider me Thai.

Story #1:

Every Peace Corps Volunteer knows the term “Intentional Relationship Building”, aka, IRB.  It’s used freely since we view everything we do involving Thai people as IRB’ing – always hopes of building a (working) relationship. This afternoon, after a day chock-full of IRB’ing, I go to my SAO (government office) and chatted with some of the daycare center teachers and the woman I’m ‘supposed’ to work with at the SAO - her name is Pii Boy and she’s a pisser.  Chatting up with these ladies is usually a good time with a guaranteed few laughs – it started with the usual: “where are you coming from, who’d you talk to, what’d you talk about? Erica is geng (good), Erica can talk to people, geng maak (very good)” and so on and so forth.

Pii Boy proceeds to tell the daycare center teachers that my ‘project’ while being here in Thailand is to ‘entertain’.  I bike around and hang out with people all day long simply to provide Thai people with good times because I’m a farang that speaks Thai ( wait a second, I thought that was called IRB...?!).  Thank you Pii Boy, for summing up this dream we call Peace Corps, into an entertainment job J

Story #2:

After the discussion of my ‘entertainment’ project, I was then asked to start a new project – I’ve never been asked to start a project.  We could say that I’m usually standing (tippy toed) on the fine line of begging people to get into an idea of mine, so I was waiting on her suggestion with baited breathe.  Drumroll please: create a farang man catalogue.  I was asked to hand-pick farang men that I knew were ‘good men’, and make a book with their pictures and credentials.  This way, all the single ladies (and for a culture that thinks you’re an old maid if you’re not married by 23 years old, there are a large amount of single “older” ladies in my community….) can have their pick.  Any takers?

Story #3:

A few of the ladies in the SAO asked me to teach them how to crochet plastic bags and it turned into a girly session.  The conversation of food came up (shocker!) and they asked me what I was eating for dinner.  I had just experimented with chili since my bestie back home, Jill, sent me chili powder in a recent package, and I would be eating the left-overs tonight.  I proceeded to tell them the ingredients:

Me: garlic, oil (just a little), salt (just a little), any vegetable you can find, tofu, chili powder, black beans…

Pii Boy: ooohhhh, black beans?

Me: Yep, black beans

Pii Boy: Do you know what black beans means in Thai, other than black beans?

Me: No, but please, do tell

Pii Boy: It means (and the rest is said in English), make love-gay-back door.

Me: laughs hysterically and proceeds to take out my language notebook and pencil – Tell me everything you know!

And so, I got a little lesson in Thai slang J

Story #4

The SAO has 2 kinds of people working there:  1) government officials: educated, and most of them (although not all) are on their high horse because of it and 2) ‘my SAO guys’ as I like to call them: uneducated villagers who work as the ground-keepers, chauffeurs (yes, the SAO has chauffeurs), the turkey farmers, the garbage

pick-up guys, 24/7 security and emergency/ambulance squad.  These guys are the bomb: down-to-earth, hysterical, beyond helpful and they love me.  In comparison to most Thai men, they are sober at work most of the time, but they do enjoy their drink every now and again.  As I was leaving the SAO at 6pm, I run into my favorite guy on his way to the bathroom – he’s 50 years old, on the emergency squad, approximately 4 feet 7 inches tall with a shit-eating-grin on his face all the time (he’s so cute!)and he happens to reek of alcohol.  I hear music playing over in their little shack and I know that they are having themselves a good time.  If I were back home I would’ve skipped right into that shack to hang out and enjoy a happy hour beer with them, but unfortunately woman don’t do things like that in Thailand and so I chatted with him as I put on my helmet for my bike-ride home.  He, ever so graciously, reminded me that if I was in any kind of trouble to call the emergency squad at 1669….with that shit-eating-grin on his face.  So, I gave out a real loud cackle (which the Thai’s happen to love) and said ‘But Pii, you’re all drunk….if I have a problem, how will any of you come pick me up?’ I wish I had a picture of his face – it was as thought this was the first time this thought ever occurred  to him. Gotta.love.it!

This night I hung out with my SAO guys after our New Year party.  I broke the 'gender rules' for once and just let loose and was totally myself hanging with the boys, drinking a beer and dancing.  My fave is the right of me :)

Left: the 2 bookends are SAO workers and next to me is my fave - we are the same height only when I bend down!