An unexpected turn of events

I think it’s safe to say that most PCV’s eventually learn not to get their hopes up about ‘doing stuff’ at their site.  By ‘doing stuff’ I mean having something legit to do during the day, saving the world, or simply having a feeling of purpose at site.  So, often PCV’s come here thinking they will make a huge, clear and tangible impact at their site, when in reality that’s probably not true.   I am by no means saying that we don’t make an impact, it just may not be one described as above.  I think that PC presence in Thailand is necessary and positive, as I am someone who views the cultural exchange as extremely important…even more important than the idea of a tangible ‘project’.  This doesn’t mean that I myself haven’t experienced ‘work-related’ disappointments.  Thailand’s work ethic is very different.  As in many other non-Western countries, everything that happens in Thailand happens much slower, if at all.  You may find yourself dedicating so much time and engery to plan for a meeting or writing a project proposal, to realize you never get the opportunity you thought you would have to do something with it.  I have learned to roll with the punches and not to take anything that happens or doesn’t happen, personally.  With this as my preface, I would like to share a story of complete Thai irony with you.

My very good friend and fellow PCV, Meechee, comes to visit me at my site to discuss and work on a recycling idea that has been brewing amongst a small group of PCV’s (and let's be honest, we really just wanted to hang out too!).  Our plan is a large-scale plan, yet we’ve brainstormed small-scale ideas as well that are feasible for each PCV to implement at their site.  With that, Meeche has been looking into things that can be made out of recycled goods, particularly pocketbooks.  Recycling is something my community doesn’t do (formally, at least and certainly not regularly) and I’m interested in sharing some cool new ideas about recycling and hey, while we’re at it, extra income (selling the pocketbooks).  So, I asked Meechee to bring her crocheting materials so she can teach me to crochet pocketbooks out of plastic bags.  My mom’s friend in America makes these very same pocketbooks and my mom brought one to me during her visit, ironically enough.  The bag is wonderful and I was excited to show Meechee (I love this bag!) and maybe teach some ladies in my community one day.  The day before Meechee comes, I get a call from PC and due to some miscommunications, I randomly tell them that Meechee is coming to my site to teach a group of women in my community how to make the bags and share ideas in general, about things they can make with recycled bags.  I don’t know why I told them this, but I am now in a situation in which I had 1 day to find a group of people to come together for this training. This is how things go down:

1.    

1.       1.   I call Meechee immediately while I’m biking on my way to the office.  I’m kind of freaking out, but we laugh at this situation we have somehow created and decide we have to whip something up.  I’ll find the people, Meechee will take care of the actual ‘training’.

2.     2.  I get to the office and see my counterpart at the office…. I’m lucky to catch her at this time because she was leaving the office for the day.  So, before she leaves I tell her Meechee is coming and we should take advantage of having another PCV come to exchange recycling ideas.  I get the go to round up about 10 women for a meeting the following day at 10am.

3.      3. A few weeks ago I am told that there is a group of women who recently learned how to make pocket books.   One of the ladies who makes the bags, who also happens to be the emergency health staff at the SAO, shares with me that materials are expensive.  I share the idea of using plastic bags instead (they are everywhere b/c people frivolously use plastic bags here) but she shows little interest.  Regardless, I figure I have to get her at this meeting because she’s at the SAO every day and I can easily contact her and tell her to invite her friends.  After some question asking, I learn she’s not at the SAO that day – seriously, c’mon! 

4.      4. I go to my friend at my SAO, her name is Fuun, who I ask to help me somehow find this woman.  As we are discussing this, a different lady, who never comes to the SAO, but also makes the bags walks into the SAO.  We tell her about the training, she lights up and says she’ll make sure to bring a bunch of ladies to the training the following morning.  Thank God.

5.      5. I then ask Fuun if we could get in touch with somebody from the HIV/AIDS group as I’d like to share this information with them as well.  She works some magic and contacts my favorite lady from this group, Metda to join us.  Funny.  Metda just returned home from Bangkok after living there for 3 months.  Metda is game.  Yay!

6.      6. What is happening right now?  Is this what we call ‘perfect timing’? 

7.      7. But, then I realize I have another concern: will they show?  Thai people often say they’ll come and then never come.  I keep my fingers crossed.

8.      8. Game day: 8 women show up.  I’m relieved as I was praying for 5. 

9.      9. Between the bag from America and Meechee’s awesomeness, the women basically figure it all out and start crocheting themselves.  Women in Thailand know how to do everything, they shock me with the things they know, so it’s no wonder they all already knew how to crochet.  They sat there for 2 hours crocheting, teaching each other, helping each other and asking lots of questions.  I was like a proud mom.

1    10. The ladies proceed to discuss the business prospects of this new-found gem, all on their own with no provoking from me, who desperately wants this to be a business prospect for them.  They spoke about how everybody in Thailand is already making the bags they’ve been making, but nobody in Thailand makes ‘things’ like pocketbooks, rain jackets, wallets, etc. out of plastic bags and other recycled goods.  If they do this, there wouldn’t be competition – they get it!  They profusely thank Meechee and I for sharing this information with them.  I felt like a real PC volunteer!

     11.  Metda, the lady with the HIV group, spent 2 hours crocheting like a bad-ass.  We arranged that Fuun, Metda and myself will teach the rest of the HIV group, all of the possibilities with recycled bags at their next meeting on October 21^st.

Can you sense my excitement?  Can you sense that I’m now bordering this fine-line of hoping that this could actually be something and how dangerous it could be?!  Yes, it’s true…..although I’ve learned not to get my hopes up, I still get my hopes up.  Idealistic by nature J  But even if this ends up just a fun morning of exchanging ideas and getting to know some of the ladies in my community, that will be more than enough.  Who knows how the group of women inspired each other?  It could possibly be something someone said or did unintentionally…..or the simple comraderie they shared for those2 hours helping each other.  During my parents visit, they gave me some good advice: “All you can do is plant seeds – you may never see the results but you never know what could happen 20 years from now”.  I hope a seed or two was planted.  

** See facebook for photos!

E-mails to another Peace Corps volunteer

So, this week I went to the ladies house with the scarves.  Let me preface with that I'm good friends with the scarf ladies neighbor and best friend - I don't know the actual scarf lady as well, but I've had a few chats with her....meaning, I've done my fair share of IRB'ing (for non-peace corps readers, this is: Intentional Relationship Building – an acronym often used in PC).  I've also previously learned that the scarf lady is interested in selling outside of Thailand. So, I went there with the intention to take pictures of the scarves and hopefully start a conversation about her website, selling to western countries, and how if we translate her website she'd have to be open to working with credit cards and deliveries, etc.  When am I going to learn that I'm not in Kansas anymore?  When will I realize that nothing like the sentence I just wrote above EVER happens here?  Nobody talks like that, nor do they want to....especially when it's practically the 2nd sentence out of my mouth.  When will I learn that I can't go in for the kill so quickly....I mean, who wants to talk about business, websites and credit cards when we can have a photo shoot with the farang and dress her up in all of the clothing in the shop?  Exactly, nobody does.  So, that's what we did: they dressed me up in a variety of outfits, changing pasins and scarves, changing the scene, sit here, stand there, put your hands like that, etc.  And let's be honest, I loved it.   This isn't the first time this has happened either....every time I go and bring up the clothes, a photo shoot ensues.  I thought the 3 we've already had would've been sufficient, but I guess not. 

Outfit #1

 After the photo shoot, we looked at pictures and then she started to work on something that had to do with the clothing material.  There was my in...if I had just jai yen yen'ed (relaxed) from the beginning.  Either way, I  re-brought up the conversation and she's totally interested, she's already working on selling to other countries and she'd love it if i could help - she'd like to do it in the next year and half, so I should still be here for it....and so on and so on.

#2 - this one was a big hit with the ladies

 Monday night, I wasn't feeling well - so my Thai people boiled up some Thai herbs for me, told me to stick my feet in it, then sleep with crushed onions in a wash cloth on my pillow and relax on Tuesday.  So, I did all the herb and onion stuff, was in my yai (grandma) pajamas all day Tuesday, the village kids hung out all morning, I did some work on the comp, just chilled out.  Would you believe that it worked?  Wednesday, I felt completely back to normal.  I'm telling you, these Thai's have some secrets up their sleeves :)  


One of the boats!



                                                                                                                       We had a boat festival in my province on Oct. 12th.   Every district builds a boat out of bamboo...and I mean like 4 stories high.  Then they take the little 'coffee' tin cans and stuff them with some stuff that catches fire.  Then they create a picture out of hanging these things on 1 side of the boat.  It's legit art.  So, they've been sitting in the Mekong River for a while now....took a while to work on them.  The last night of Buddhist Lent, the boats are lit up and sent down the river.  And when I say lit up, there are men with bamboo torches that are climbing the boats, lighting up each 'coffee' can at a time....so dangerous!  Anyway, they were gorgeous.  I was so unbelievably impressed.  Laurie (fellow PCV friend) helped her community stuff the cans and her boat came in 2nd place! 



The initial lighting...it was a little windy!



My PC program manager suggests I meet with the non-formal education place in my community as they do things with disabled people and we are trying to get some of that going here.  I tell my counterpart I’d like to meet with them, of course, she has a friend who works there and we can go whenever we want.  I know we have one in my sub-district as well, but I don't know anything about it. Either way, I went to one of my village Wats to wait for the nurses I was meeting so we could go on a house visit together (the health workers make house visits to the disabled and chronically ill).  I got there early and went to say hello to the daycare teachers.  The pants lady who sells pants was there, I buy a pair (people go to offices, schools, etc. selling all kinds of stuff).  Some guy, who’s like a regular villager comes over and says he wants to buy pants too, but he needs a certain color for his work.  We start chatting about his work....wouldn't you know he works at the non-formal education center in my sub-district?  And he knows sign language! He travels all over the province to teach groups of deaf people.  So while I waited for the nurses, I learned how to sign in thai!!!!  Isn't it such a small world?  You do something just to help pass the time and something like that happens – I now have a new contact at this center.  I also learned, through him, that all the teachers in my sub-district non-formal education center are lazy and never show up.....awesome! 

The Treacherous Travels of Thailand

"The more I travel in Thailand, the more I long for the NYC transportation system, which is sad.”  This is a text message I sent my good friend and fellow PCV, Lizzy this weekend.  And it’s basically because the transportation system in Thailand, if you could even call it a system, can drive someone nuts!  When I lived in NYC, everybody complained about the MTA:  ugh, services are cut again,  the prices are up, the trains are running all screwed up, or the trains are filthy, or….there was always something to complain about.  But, my travels this weekend made me long for a NYC subway.  Ok, I live in Esan which means I’m far away from everything.  The overnight buses are probably the greatest invention because, if you have to travel for 12 hours you might as well do it at night, sleep and not waste a day on a bus.  So, in some cases, the bus transportation here is a beautiful thing.   But, the ‘city’ buses are different story….here it is:

My friend and fellow PCV, Meechee and I are at the bus station in my provincial capital so we can go to our friend and fellow PCV, Kyle’s house.  Kyle was hosting a Mexican night with delicious Mexican food, fun and friends.  So, shall I preface that not only am I excited to get there, I forgot my book leaving me with nothing to keep me busy on the supposed short bus ride. 

Meechee and I wait 1 hour for the 2pm ‘city bus’ that is clearly running on what us PCV’s like to call ‘Thai time’ because the bus actually leaves at 2:20pm.  Tallied wait time: 1 hour and 20 minutes.

We drive around the block, yes folks, around the block to another bus stop to pick up waiting commuters.  My bus driver, let’s call him Bob, has a few friends who own the shop right by the bus stop.  Well, of course Bob has to get out and go hang out with this friend of his….God forbid Bob picks up the commuters and carries on his merry way.  But no, we must stop for approximately 12 minutes and sit there while Bob shoots the shit. Total tallied time: 1 hour and 32 minutes.

This week, there is a festival in my provincial capital which means markets.  We drove through the market at a speed in which a tour bus would take a group of tourists through a new place.  One would think that the bus driver never saw a market before, at a festival he has probably seen every year for his entire life.  Not to mention that every market in Thailand has the same stuff.  Bus driver Bob, must you drive 1 mph with your head out the window as though you’ve never seen anything this exciting before?  Takes what feels like an eternity to get to the next bus stop.  Total tallied time: approximately 1 hour and 42 minutes.

Bus stop #2: well, now it’s been about 17 minutes since Bus Driver Bob has had a cigarette, so it only makes sense that he would get out at the stop to have a smoke.  All Thai people know each other, so he is talking to somebody at the bus stop, probably his cousin, and they are looking at a magazine together.  So Bob finishes the cigarette and proceeds to review the magazine with cuz.  I’m staring this man down about to take over the wheel and drive ourselves there, and then he finally gets back to business and we continue: Total tallied time: approximately 1 hour and 57 minutes. 

We finally get out of the city after Bob’s dilly dallying and me wanting to scream.  We are on the main road and Bob is seriously crawling….people, the man is driving way too slow for me to remain sane on this trip.  But somehow I find some calm in me, and tell myself that at least we are moving.  I suck it up and reside to the fact that I lost this battle. 

Thai people rarely get upset about things, but I often wonder if that’s sometimes a cover up.  Because some of the commuters were looking around, wondering where Bob was, why weren’t we driving, etc, but didn’t look nearly as crazed as I did and certainly didn’t say anything.  Could you imagine a NYC bus driver stopping in the middle of a route to smoke a cig, hang out with a friend for 15 minutes or read a magazine with his cousin?  No, never, not in a million years.  In NY, people would have been all over that bus driver, but not in Thailand.  People don’t do that here, meaning, they don’t complain or get involved in any kind of confrontation period….they just let it happen and let it be.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get it or if I’ll ever fully adjust.  Sometimes, you can take a girl out of NY, but you just can’t take NY out of the girl. 

mama and papa dukes visit thailand

Is it possible that I've become so accustomed to Thailand and life here that when my parents came to visit and they made comments on how different it is here, I actually responded with: 'Is Thailand, really that different?'  Both of my parents looked at me like I had 10 heads and then I snapped back to reality and was like, 'Yeah, I guess it is!'

So, I was blessed enough to have my parents visit Thailand and we spent 2 weeks together!  They had a long and trecherous 22 hour flight here and they continued to be troopers for the next 2 weeks.  We spent our first 4 days down south in Phuket.  We stayed at a glorious hotel called 'Boomerang Villa' which we all kind of laughed when we said the name....but it was beautiful.  The hotel was away from the action, but not too far that it was difficult or long to get to, provided a great view and surrounded us with beautiful landscaping.  The staff were so sweet and I think we all felt at home there.  Although we weren't all that impressed with Phuket itself (not the most beautiful place we've ever been and we felt as though we were in Europe as everybody there were European.....aka it was way too touristy and not the 'real Thailand'), we did enjoy ourselves and had a few 'firsts' and interesting moments:

1. First ride in a tuk tuk (a primary cab transportation in Thailand)

Mom and dad in the tuk tuk

2. Saw a great Thai band singing American music (in English) fabulously as though we were in a bar in NY

3. Got screwed over into a tourist trap (that was my fault!)

4. Rode a 'public bus' (mom loved this b/c it was so small and the bus station was simply the side of the road!) and met some great Australian people

5. Went to see a nice show that included Thai culture, dance and theatre

6. Took a boat tour to Ko Phi Phi and met a trans-sexual woman from Kuwait - she goes to Thailand to get all of her surgeries because it's cheaper and more acceptable here. 

7. Swam in the Indian Ocean!

Mom and Dad's feel in the Indian Ocean!

8. Dad comments regularly about how bad Thailand smells. 

Needless to say, it was interesting.  We leave Phuket, say our farewells to our newly beloved friends at the Boomerang Villa and head for the north for a visit to Chiang Mai, where we were meeting 3 fellow Peace Corps Volunteers as well.

Chiang Mai was absolutely lovely.  We once again stayed in a hotel that was off the beaten path, but not too far away with a lovely staff that was extremely helpful.  The owner was a flaming gay man and all of his staff followed suit - they were all just so cute!  In Chiang Mai we were able to leave the city one day and see the beauty surrounding us...it is very mountainous and green.  We visited the 'Long Neck' village, which are groups of people that are typically from Thailands neighbor, Burma.  The woman where the heavy metal rings around their neck from the time they are young girls until adulthood to elongate their necks as it is viewed as beautiful. 

1. Took mom and dad to their first Wat (Doi Suthep) where mom made merit and paid her respects to Buddha!  They also got to see a group of young kids performing traditional Thai dance. 

2. Ate some legit Thai food at a restaurant owned by a ladyboy.  As dad was  paying, she asked my dad where he was staying (wink, wink).

Eating kaao dtom!

3. Mom and dad ate their first 'kaao dtom' which is a very popular Thai kanome (sweet/dessert).

4. Dad still thinks Thailand smells awful and makes sure to tell everybody throughout the day.

5. First traditional Thai massage....aaahhhhh!

6. Markets, markets, markets!

7. Mom and dad ride an elephant!!!

8. Two great days having my parents and my PCV friends get to know each other and share stories - it's great to share my world back home with my world here, and vise versa.

We sadly say good-bye to Chiang Mai, spend 18 hours on a bus (12 of them, thank God was an overnight bus and we all slept well!) to visit my site, Donnanghong.  I'd love to read a blog written by my parents about their experience at my site, but at least you can read mine:

1. 'God, this country stinks!' - Dad

Mom and I roll our eyes, even though we both know it's true.

Out to dinner with my host family

2. My host family takes us to a nice restaurant on the water where my parents have their first experience eating dinner while sitting on the floor.  My dad says his body just doesn't move like it used to :)

3. Mom and dad sleep under a mosquito net for the first time, mom laughs at this and so do I!

3a. Mom and dad are woken up at 3am by the monks at the Wat (about 50 meters from my house) banging the gong proceeded with 1 hour of chanting.  They look at each other and exclaim: What the f*$# is that?  The following morning I say: 'Welcome to Thailand!'

4. Mom and dad are totally wonderful and go along and meet so many people on day 1 we can't even count.  Lots of excitement that my parents were here, lots of pictures were taken and lots of wai'ing and hugging!

5. Mom and dad eat on the floor AGAIN!  They finally get some good home-cooked food at the home of my host family....Esan style, sticky rice and all....which means you eat with your hands.  Dinner was followed by each family (meaning my parents and host family) exchanging photos and talking about our families.  It was a really nice moment.

6. My parents spend an entire day at an organic farm that raises organic turkeys. They didn't think that was on the agenda....but unexpected things happen in Thailand all the time :)

7. We go to my provincial capital to go on a boat ride on the MeKong River and see the sunset.  We wait around for 1 hour (as per the boat staff) for them to eventually tell us that they have to go to Laos for something and so the ride was cancelled....so we ate instead.  Cnce again, Welcome to Thailand.  But, they got to see the River and saw Laos from Thailand.....pretty cool. 

8. Attended a Thai festival that takes place once a year to preserve Thai culture.  So, it's a day full of women in beautiful traditional Thai outfits, Thai dancing and singing contests, contests for students who have the most beautiful wai (for real, this was a contest) and which village makes the most beautiful bai-sii, which are made out of banana leaves and flowers.  Bai-sii's are used at monk ordinations and other celebrations to hold the white strings they use to provide the welcome ceremony.  The welcome ceremony is when they take the string and wish you good luck and happiness while wishing away all things negative and tie the string around your wrist.

9. Received the strings of the welcome ceremony, by my neighbors.  Grandma was so happy, she cried.

10. Ugh, it freakin stinks!

11. Mom and dad rode bikes....on the dirt rodes in the rice fields no less!

12. Mom and dad were celebrities for 4 days, got touched and grabbed a lot, were fawned over, were told what to do a lot, in Thai even though everybody knew they didn't speak Thai and told how beautiful and young they still are.  That's life in Thailand!

I had a great 2 weeks with my parents. I can't believe it has already come and gone, but it was amazing to show them my new, temporary home and the people in my life here.  It was really important to me for my community to meet my parents as well and see first hand how important they (and my familly) are to me.  It was most amazing to just have them around, talk, hug and laugh for 2 weeks straight.  Always good to know I'll be going home to amazing people in 1.5 years.