Random conversations

As I sit at my computer, killing mosquitos with my electric zapper racket, trying to come to terms with the fact that the ‘cold’ season is coming to a tragic end, I reflect on the conversations of today.  I hope they give you a little inside scoop to my life as someone who will forever be a farang (foreigner), but so different from every other farang my people know they ‘kinda’ consider me Thai.

Story #1:

Every Peace Corps Volunteer knows the term “Intentional Relationship Building”, aka, IRB.  It’s used freely since we view everything we do involving Thai people as IRB’ing – always hopes of building a (working) relationship. This afternoon, after a day chock-full of IRB’ing, I go to my SAO (government office) and chatted with some of the daycare center teachers and the woman I’m ‘supposed’ to work with at the SAO - her name is Pii Boy and she’s a pisser.  Chatting up with these ladies is usually a good time with a guaranteed few laughs – it started with the usual: “where are you coming from, who’d you talk to, what’d you talk about? Erica is geng (good), Erica can talk to people, geng maak (very good)” and so on and so forth.

Pii Boy proceeds to tell the daycare center teachers that my ‘project’ while being here in Thailand is to ‘entertain’.  I bike around and hang out with people all day long simply to provide Thai people with good times because I’m a farang that speaks Thai ( wait a second, I thought that was called IRB...?!).  Thank you Pii Boy, for summing up this dream we call Peace Corps, into an entertainment job J

Story #2:

After the discussion of my ‘entertainment’ project, I was then asked to start a new project – I’ve never been asked to start a project.  We could say that I’m usually standing (tippy toed) on the fine line of begging people to get into an idea of mine, so I was waiting on her suggestion with baited breathe.  Drumroll please: create a farang man catalogue.  I was asked to hand-pick farang men that I knew were ‘good men’, and make a book with their pictures and credentials.  This way, all the single ladies (and for a culture that thinks you’re an old maid if you’re not married by 23 years old, there are a large amount of single “older” ladies in my community….) can have their pick.  Any takers?

Story #3:

A few of the ladies in the SAO asked me to teach them how to crochet plastic bags and it turned into a girly session.  The conversation of food came up (shocker!) and they asked me what I was eating for dinner.  I had just experimented with chili since my bestie back home, Jill, sent me chili powder in a recent package, and I would be eating the left-overs tonight.  I proceeded to tell them the ingredients:

Me: garlic, oil (just a little), salt (just a little), any vegetable you can find, tofu, chili powder, black beans…

Pii Boy: ooohhhh, black beans?

Me: Yep, black beans

Pii Boy: Do you know what black beans means in Thai, other than black beans?

Me: No, but please, do tell

Pii Boy: It means (and the rest is said in English), make love-gay-back door.

Me: laughs hysterically and proceeds to take out my language notebook and pencil – Tell me everything you know!

And so, I got a little lesson in Thai slang J

Story #4

The SAO has 2 kinds of people working there:  1) government officials: educated, and most of them (although not all) are on their high horse because of it and 2) ‘my SAO guys’ as I like to call them: uneducated villagers who work as the ground-keepers, chauffeurs (yes, the SAO has chauffeurs), the turkey farmers, the garbage

pick-up guys, 24/7 security and emergency/ambulance squad.  These guys are the bomb: down-to-earth, hysterical, beyond helpful and they love me.  In comparison to most Thai men, they are sober at work most of the time, but they do enjoy their drink every now and again.  As I was leaving the SAO at 6pm, I run into my favorite guy on his way to the bathroom – he’s 50 years old, on the emergency squad, approximately 4 feet 7 inches tall with a shit-eating-grin on his face all the time (he’s so cute!)and he happens to reek of alcohol.  I hear music playing over in their little shack and I know that they are having themselves a good time.  If I were back home I would’ve skipped right into that shack to hang out and enjoy a happy hour beer with them, but unfortunately woman don’t do things like that in Thailand and so I chatted with him as I put on my helmet for my bike-ride home.  He, ever so graciously, reminded me that if I was in any kind of trouble to call the emergency squad at 1669….with that shit-eating-grin on his face.  So, I gave out a real loud cackle (which the Thai’s happen to love) and said ‘But Pii, you’re all drunk….if I have a problem, how will any of you come pick me up?’ I wish I had a picture of his face – it was as thought this was the first time this thought ever occurred  to him. Gotta.love.it!

This night I hung out with my SAO guys after our New Year party.  I broke the 'gender rules' for once and just let loose and was totally myself hanging with the boys, drinking a beer and dancing.  My fave is the right of me :)

Left: the 2 bookends are SAO workers and next to me is my fave - we are the same height only when I bend down!