Friends in Thailand

One of my greatest fears about going into the Peace Corps was not making good friends. Typically, I don't need much in life, but people and relationships is something I find I can't live without.  I knew there'd be tons of barriers, language just being one of the many, and I was uncertain if I'd overcome them.  Now, having lived here for 1 year, I’d say the friends I’ve made is one of my greatest Peace Corps accomplishments.

Pii Dtang cooking for a ceremony at her Wat 

Pii Dtang in a nutshell, is the bomb.  I first met Pii Dtang when I walked into a meeting, looked around and this lady and I caught each other’s eye.  She gave me a little smile, hit the seat next to her and gave me this head nod that said, ‘Sit your hiney right here next to me’.  So, I did.  Most people giggle when I sit with them, or ask me what I ate for lunch, if I’m hot (as I have sweat dripping off of my face)…stuff like that.  But not Pii Dtang – she went right in for the kill: who am I, what am I doing here, why did I join PC, etc?  She gave me one of the warmest and most sincere smiles I’ve seen in Thailand as well as a piece of candy…..I was sold.  She is 47, a mother of 3, cares for her 81 y/o mother (just fyi: 81 in Thailand is ancient, they just don’t make it that long here….her mom is a hoot too and strong as hell!) and older mentally handicapped and diabetic sister (they live with her).  She’s been married for 19 years and although she lights up when she talks about her hubby, they have never lived together as he has either lived outside of Thailand or in Bangkok (currently) for work.  She is the assistant village headman (but does all the work of the village headman), village accountant, leader of the women’s group, raises cows/ducks/turkeys, has every kind of food you could imagine growing outside her house and grows rice every year for her family.  You name it, Pii Dtang can do it.  As busy as she is, she always makes time for me.  Her family invites me everywhere, and she does special things just to ensure I experience Thai culture.  She cooks me special vegetarian Thai food, taught me how to raise cows, taught me what Thailand was like 30 years ago when she was a teen (no running water, no electricity) and has told me her smart philosophy on raising kids in Thailand.  We take naps after we eat lunch and end up chatting like teenagers instead.  If I need advice or I’m having a rough day, I go visit Pii Dtang because she just gets me and she’s so rational.  She’s got a heart of gold and has become like my older Thai sister.  I always leave her presence feeling lighter.  I was doing breast cancer checks at the health station one day and someone said to me: ‘You have to talk to Pii Dtang because she hasn’t gotten checked yet’.  I was in deep thought as I was feeling for lumps and I said ‘Pii Dtang who?’ and her response was ‘Your Pii Dtang’.  I thought it was cute and realized that yes, she is my Pii Dtang.  My Pii Dtang, the bomb.

Pii Dtang and I at Loy Kratong Festival

Pii Dtang's children at a ceremony her daughter was dancing in.  We are  dropping her daughter off at her 1st year of college this week!

Pii Jaloo and Pii Wan

These two fabulous, strong, lively and energetic women are sisters and both in their 50’s.  Pii Jaloo is very involved in her village as a village council member and the leader of the community investment bank (everybody in the village contributes money on a monthly basis to pay for funerals and such in their village - everything is a community effort here).  Her husband died from cancer about 2 years ago.  Pii Wan has been battling cancer for 3 years – first she had breast cancer but had those bad boys removed, then some chemo/radiation/the whole bit, for it to come back to her lungs last year.  She has completed chemo for the second time and has been working on getting strong again and has just found out that she still has cancer and must continue her treatments….it’s been a trying time.  I should also tell you that she has to travel 4-5 hours away, in another province, to receive the chemo and visit the doctor.  Her cheating husband left her about 2 years ago in the middle of her health crisis and she was probably better off for it.  Despite all of this, they are both always ready for a good time and they love to laugh.  I visit them a couple times/month and I’m greeted with genuinely warm hugs (note: hugs are uncommon here), kisses and gentle butt taps (which remind me of my grandma and so I happily welcome them!).  When I’m there, we usually do one the following: play dress-Erica-up, take photos, sing karaoke, dance, serve Erica cold water and fruit because she’s always so hot, make flower bouquets out of banana leaves, talk about farting, laugh, dance, sing some more.  I adore them and feel so comfortable with them.  Also, they are looking for some foreign boyfriends – I told them I’d ask around ;)

Pii Jaloo and I singing karaoke at their house 

Pii Wan (left) and Pii Jaloo (right)

Pii Dtou and Grandpa

My mom with my neighbors :)

Mom and Dad with Grandpa and the fishing
device he makes out of bamboo

Because of Pii Dtou and her dad/my grandpa (and also because of my other fabulous neighbors and great noodle shop across the street) I am thankful I moved to the house I live in.  Pii Dtou is a 47 y/o single woman who lives with her 73 year old dad who is phenomenal.  All of my visitors from America have met him and just love him: he goes to his field/garden every day and sits there and makes ‘stuff’ out of nothing.  The man can do anything and I’ve seen him go to great and impressive lengths to pick me fruit off of a very high tree…..anybody who does that to give me food is good in my book!  He also reminds me of my own grandfather and I warmed to him instantly.  The best thing about Pii Dtou is that we can hang out and talk for hours.  She’s patient with me and always finds a way to teach me something, mainly language.  I’ve shared some personal things about my life with Pii Dtou and I trust her with all of it.  She is a tailor and can pretty much do anything with her hands (I guess like her dad, she can make ‘stuff’ out of nothing).  She is 1 of the women who now crochets pocketbooks out of plastic bags – but hers are the most beautiful!  She has also begun to recycle and now we sell our recyclables together, comparing our plastics and metals!  She’s been a huge supporter of my recycling escapades.  She understands the importance of taking care of our environment and feels strongly about educating our village as much as I do.  She has recently helped me communicate this to the head monk at our village Wat.  He has agreed to let us begin a collection point at the Wat.  Pii Dtou has been essential in helping me create the information board and grandpa is making the recycling bins our of bamboo and banana leaves – gotta love it!  Basically, Pii Dtou and Grandpa are simply great people and has made my time here extra special.

Pii  Dtou and her first recycled pocketbook

Grandpa picking linchee - the rickety ladder made of bamboo

Cartoon - Because most people in their 20's and 30's go to bigger cities for work, that age group is hard to find in the village - the main reason why my friends are all 13 and younger or 45+.....except for Cartoon.  She is my Thai host sister and I lived with her the first month at my site.  She speaks English very well, has 2 adorable kids (they are all over my facebook albums!) and really took care of me when I first came here.  I don't know how I would have survived without her.  She took me everywhere, showed me the ins and outs of my village and community, introduced me to everyone and Thai life and cooked me some amazing vegetarian Thai food.  She is like a sister to me and I don't know if she'll ever know how much her time and dedication means to me, especially during my first month at site.  The transition to my site the first month was a very difficult time for me; I was so uncertain, vulnerable, scared, frustrated, lonely and in desperate need of a friend.  Cartoon was always there.  When I struggled with my Thai Supervisor, Cartoon let me vent and understood, but wasn't afraid to be honest in telling me to jai yen yen (literally means 'cool heart' - basically, 'be patient').  She helped me understand the hierarchical system here in Thailand, during a time I was experiencing and struggling with it.  She also is the only person here who knows the 30 year old American woman in me: meaning, we go out to party and dance together! I hope one day she comes to New York, so I can share my home with her, the way she has shared hers with me.  

Me and Cartoon 

Cartoon and her adorable kids!