At the end of the work day on Friday, my Nayoke was trying to explain something to me. Sounds simple but this is actually a feat that takes a lot of time and energy because of language issues. He was leaving work a bit early and it seemed to me that he was doing so to go to the Wat to attend a funeral. So, I awkwardly apologized for the loss and he proceeded to tell me to meet him at the Wat the following day. I had no idea why I had to go to the Wat again for the 5th time that week, but of course agreed to meet him. To my knowledge there were no big community events and I didn’t hear any words stating that there was a monk ordination, so I dressed casually in white pants and a yellow shirt. So, as I ride to the Wat I feel fabulous: the sun is shining, wind blowing into my helmet, saying hello to the villagers, not having to think so much trying to concentrate on people talking, and just generally feeling a sense of relaxation. I get to the Wat and Nayoke isn’t there. So, I ask where he is and somebody tells me he’s not there, he’s at the SAO (the office). I found this funny because the Nayoke didn’t call me with a change of plans, but I headed back to my bike to ride to the SAO. On my way out of the Wat, a woman catches my eye and we smiled to each other so I went over to her and introduced myself. It turns out that she’s a village headwomen, so it was great to meet her. I figured that meeting her was the purpose for going to the Wat, even though Nayoke wasn’t there. I get back on my bike, still feeling good and get to the SAO and there’s no sign of Nayoke. I realize that for the first time, I’ve officially been greng jai’ed. Greng Jai is a common Thai term that basically means consideration. So, if you ask somebody to do something they say yes even if they don’t want to because they feel bad and just want to help you. A less fortunate example of this is when you ask some for directions or where somebody/something is and they answer you whether they know the answer or not. If they don’t know the answer, they will make something up because they would hate not to be able to help you….even though that’s not really helping. So, basically the women who said the Nayoke was at the SAO really had no idea where he was but just didn’t want to ‘not help me’ so made something up. It’s a concept I can’t seem to grasp my hands around because it seems backwards to me, but what can I do…I’m not here to change culture. So, I grin and bear it and call the Nayoke. He informed me that I had gone to the wrong Wat, he wasn’t at the SAO (with this, he chuckled) and told me that the security guard at the SAO would ride his bike with me to the correct Wat. So, the Nayoke called the security guard to inform him of this, in turn waking the guy up from his mid-day nap. I got to the Wat and my cluelessness gave us all a good laugh which always breaks the ice, so I’m always grateful for that. I sit down with about 10 people and I realize that everybody is dressed in black. It slowly hits me that I’m at the funeral the Nayoke was referring to the day before. I had never been to a funeral in Thailand but I know that Thai’s where all black (literally, head to toe) at funerals. At this moment I feel ten times more awkward in my cheerful white pants and yellow shirt. I explain to them that I didn’t know this was a funeral and if time allows, I can go home to change. My nayoke told me no worries, which is his favorite saying. So, I listened and didn’t worry. The little miscommunication led to some questions about Catholic funerals in America and due to limited language I was only able to share that we dress similarly…..yet, another small exchange of culture. Suddenly, the entire village walks into the Wat (yes, it looked like nighttime with all the black, but ‘no worries’). We did the usual chanting and Nayoke (who also happens to be the religious leader at that Wat) made a brief speech about the man who died, similar to a Catholic Eulogy. I gathered that he was a father, brother and a good man. I was surprised to see a women openly crying as Thai’s rarely show emotion other than happiness in public as they don’t like to make others feel uncomfortable….I was told this was the same at funerals, yet this women was clearly upset. I wanted to give her a hug. Afterwards, we all went to the casket that was placed on a covered platform that was all decorated and put these hand-made offerings made out of straw (should’ve taken a picture!) in front of the casket. Again, similar to Catholics placing flowers on the casket at the cemetery. As this was going on my Nayoke took this as an opportunity to introduce me on the microphone. He has done this at every event in which there is a microphone and in Thailand, there is always a microphone. He used the typical intro of where I was from, my age, what I’m here for, that I’m a vegetarian but can eat eggs (Thai vegetarians don’t eat dairy, so my vegetarianism is a bit different for them) and that I’ll be the person riding around the community on a bike and to say hello to me as I ride by. For whatever reason, he left out the always included fact that I’m not married or have a boyfriend, I’m single. I absolutely love this man! For the finishing touch, the funeral ended with some fireworks. They scared the crap out of me but I didn’t have the courage to ask why they let off fireworks at a funeral.
I hope I expressed the humor that I found in this situation but I hope I expressed it as good humor. Life here is often hysterical and awkward to me, but only because I have never know what's going on! Every experience, however, is interesting and another piece of the puzzle to Thai life and people.
No comments:
Post a Comment